Linda Johnson (Dual Care Balance)
Linda is a certified executive coach, management trainer and diversity trainer with additional credentials as a master business coach and organisational development coach. As an ex...
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What is the Sandwich Generation?
Let's look at the other side of the sandwich. If you have adult children at home, ask them, I'm sorry. Insist that they contribute financially, that they do more for themselves than they can be doing. If they need to get that job that pays enough for them to move out, gently push them out the door. Let them know that they're housemates. They are not living with you as little children. That also requires a mindset shift and an attitude change for you. Don't feel guilty for saying it's time to go. You can be very protective of them when they're younger, but this is a time to allow them, because you've given them roots to give them the wings and let them fly on their own. Have boundaries, have clear boundaries and clear expectations. Just because you moved in with your family does not mean I'm going to become a full-time babysitter. Just because I'm retired, it doesn't mean I have days free to constantly take on obligations of other people. Get your siblings if you can, to contribute. If not, there are outside resources. Take a look at them and take advantage of them. It's your life too. So think about the fact that you are sandwiched and what do you need to do to get the most meaning for your own life, as well as the life of those who depend on you.
How Should You Handle Adult Children Living at Home?
The sandwich generation is what it sounds like. We're talking about people who simultaneously have the responsibility for taking care of elderly adults and their family as well as dependent, usually adult children who are also financially or emotionally or even physically dependent on their parents. We are talking about one in seven Americans between the ages of 40 and 60 who have these simultaneous responsibilities. As you can imagine, it is quite a challenge. It's something that we may not have planned for, certainly not in our twenties or thirties, having dual responsibilities, and many of us are even grandparents, as well as parents, as well as taking care for elderly.
How Can You Get Additional Help with Elder Care?
The first challenge that we have is the challenge of stress. As you can imagine, one of the most important things to do is constantly remember your care. At the same time you're caring for your elderly or younger family members. Don't neglect your health routines, wellness, keeping your own doctor appointments, schedule them the same time that you schedule the appointments for elderly family members. Make sure that if you need counselling, that you continue it. And also think about the fact that you're going to be grieving, you're going to be grieving. Some of your independence may be a lot of your independence, grieving the changes that you see in your elderly parents. Extremely important to acknowledge it, and there are plenty of support groups that can help you with it.