Sam Dailey (Channel Your Emotions)
Sam is a certified Growth Mode Coach and Finance & Technology expert who is passionate about helping professionals find balance and joy in their careers. Drawing on his extensive e...
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How do our environments shape our emotions?
We oftentimes think of our observations as outcomes of our emotions. So when we feel positive, we notice positive things. And when we feel negative emotions, we notice negative things, and that is true. But the opposite is also true. We all know about different environments that make us feel certain ways. So you might feel really focused in your office place. You might feel motivated in your gym. You might feel really relaxed in your bedroom. There are also people that make us feel different ways. Certain people give us energy and certain people suck energy from us. So understanding this and making choices as they relate to your observations, the environment that you put yourself in and the people that you surround yourself with is a key part of relating in a healthier way to your emotions to feel healthier. Emotions make healthier choices as they relate to your environment.
How do our actions help us relate to our emotions?
Now again, we tend to think of our actions as outcomes of our emotions, particularly as we grow up and get older. But the opposite is also true. Our emotions are outcomes of our actions. I'll use a generic example here to illustrate this point. Think of something that's really challenging, a challenging action, and then think of your motivation as your emotional state. Oftentimes, we wait until our motivation is high enough to pursue a difficult action, but the people that are the best put their action first. They take a step towards a difficult action before they feel ready, before the motivation is there. Taking the action actually is what helps them increase their motivation and give them the motivation to take another step, which further increases their motivation. So think about this in your own life, an area maybe where you would like to try something new, but don't yet have the motivation for it. Ask yourself how you can take a first, very simple step. Try to think of something that's too small to say no to, something that's so easy, you know, can accomplish it. Take that first step and watch it increase your motivation. This is just a simple, generic example of how your actions can help you relate in a healthier way to your emotions.
How do the stories we tell help us relate to our emotions?
Our internal power as storytellers is one of our strongest powers as humans. It's where we can exercise creativity and self-control. To help illustrate the power of stories, you can think about a recent time where you felt a particularly strong emotion. The more recent, the better, and the stronger the emotion the better. And now ask yourself what a story that you were telling yourself that led to that emotion was. If you're not used to this question, it can sound odd, but there's always a story going on in our head, oftentimes multiple ones that lead us to feel the way that we're feeling. So see if you can identify just one or two strong stories that led you to feel the strong emotion that you were feeling. Once you've identified this story, ask yourself, is this story true? Is it 100% true? And can I know that this story is true? Usually the answer to this question will be no. It's not 100% true. We're basing these stories based off of little snippets of observations that we have, but we don't know the whole story. We don't know the 100% truth. There's always an alternative story, and oftentimes a more empowering one that we can be telling ourselves that can lead to more positive emotions. The last question that you can ask yourself about your stories is, how can I tell a more empowering story? Oftentimes, our default stories are very limiting. They restrict us and put us into boxes. And if we can practise over time telling more empowering stories, we can improve over time the emotions that we feel, particularly when we're feeling angry or frustrated or other negative emotions.